Dear Harry, I want to share with you how I have used the tools recently to integrate two persistently recurring creations that I have been experiencing to varying degrees on and off for most of my life.

They are "anxiety and depression", and "asthma".

There were a number of times since I did Avatar that I thought I was finally done with the first, and then it would hit me from left field ... finally I realized that most of my attention had been focussed on wanting to be done with it, rather than really experiencing and integrating it. My mum was hospitalized and medicated for it throughout my childhood and one of my sisters has been on a Disability Pension for it for years. And I was busy "proving" that I wasnt like them!! Well, finally, in the middle of this year, I realized that this was actually a Persistent Identity of MINE, and so I decided to do the PI Rundown on it.

Wow!!!! It took me a number of hours over a few days ... I was doing it on my own and I wanted to be real and fully feel every bit of it ... the most amazing thing was that I got to fully feel all the desire around it for the first time. I had many, many realizations and by the end felt so free.

So that was over 4 months ago, and so far so good. I am now so much more willing to feel and own all of my creations, rather than descend into depression to avoid feeling and owning anything. Everything is different now.

The other creation, asthma, has been similar in that it always seemed to come out of left field. I thought Id handled it about 12 years ago, when I was doing a lot of Vispassana meditation and Chi Kung ... the asthma went and I started to feel some stuff I didnt want to feel and went down the rabbit hole (into depression) ... so I figured that it was a resistance to feeling.

In the past few years it has been on and off - I have carried a Ventolin inhaler around just in case but rarely used it. Except for last year, for a few months before Sept Integrity, and then again this year, for the past few months, on and off.

So my response has usually been to grab the Ventolin and have a puff and get on with things, but yesterday morning when I started to feel wheezy while walking on the beach, I decided it was time to use the tools. I realized that I had been viewing it as something that happened to me, rather than as my creation ... with this shift in viewpoint I felt ready to start feeling and exploring it.

I started with Inside/Outside Feel-its and began to feel a deep sadness, and a thought came up ... "the sadness of the world". I kept feeling it and it eased.

Then I was creating "Im happy to be me" and I started to wheeze again ... I decided to CHP it ... well that CHP turned into a Persistent Mass rundown ... and the core creation was the belief "Everyones sad and I cant stop it". This was created in my childhood ... I used to go and bury my head in books and go into fantasy land to not feel any of it, mine or theirs. And continued those habits into adulthood.

Wow, it was incredible to just be able to feel that belief and then discreate it.

So that was yesterday morning. This morning I was feeling upset about a conversation I had last night with a new Master ... I started feeling wheezy and so I just let myself feel the sadness, and I was able to get some ownership, then I felt wheezy again and I felt angry and realized I was angry at myself for what Id done, so I felt that and did a Walk on Secrets and then I was able to breathe easily and feel how to re-connect, which I have done.

Its now 48 hours since I have had any Ventolin - lately Ive been using it about twice a day.

This is HUGE for me Harry, with both creations.

I am flying to Orlando tomorrow for Integrity. My last US Integrity course was September 2006.

I was in a very different place then to where I am now (sometimes I look back and wonder how on earth I could have been on the AI team back then with all the drama I was creating!) (Shona has the patience, compassion and faith of a saint!)

And of course all of this integration means I am so much more able to get my attention out and support others ...

So, "Its Getting Better", YES!!

Harry, to say "Thank You" is inadequate.

So my primary for the next Avatar course is "In gratitude to Harry and the Sangha, I will bring 6 new students to the next Melbourne course". And I know you would prefer that to my saying "Thank You" a million times.

With love, and gratitude, Lizzy
Source : http://avatarresults.com/avatar-in-life/599-depression-and-asthma.html