Guest post by Nadine Raffelson
As I returned home and unpacked my bags, having just completed the Integrity Course, I reflected on how amazing it was to discover how I have been running my life. I have created struggle, followed some pretty funny blueprints and unintentionally repeated some interesting patterns.
The next day, a bumble bee dropped to the floor in my bathroom. I watched it for a couple of seconds and then grabbed a shoe. I struck the insect three times, picked it up in a tissue and put in the garage trash can. Afterwards, I realized when something happens in my life, I make it dangerous or wrong, do what it takes to get it out of my way and then do what I would like to do. That is an interesting pattern...
On the following day, a medium size black spider was wandering around in my white bathtub. Instead of getting a shoe, I connected with the spider and felt what it felt like to be stuck in my invariable, old, boring pattern. Not just stuck but even wallowing in it.
I passed by the tub a couple more times. It was amazing, I was still connected with the spider. I "asked" what I could do help this spider. Upon entering the kitchen I reached for a jelly jar. I felt it would not be easy to get it down where he could walk in. I selected a black shot glass and a jelly jar lid.
As I walked back into the bathroom, I was still connected with the spider. I said "If you will trust me, I will trust you." I waited a couple of seconds and bent down and put the jar beside him. He ran. I got up and walked out of the bathroom to the front door. And along the way I realized how I have been living my life by walking away from things that do not go my way. An interesting pattern...
I went back into the bathroom. I became conscious that he would be happier out in the world (and I would be also). I said "I trust you, would you like to trust me and go back out into the world where it is a lot more interesting and rewarding?" I positioned the jar beside him and he literally jumped right in. I placed the lid on and moved out to the front porch, bent down, took off the lid, the spider jumped down and scurried off. We both felt better about our opportunity (which each of us seized) to move on with our lives and learn and grow.
Each of us has definitionless awareness and we are having fun exploring our creations, discovering our patterns, and choosing to create bigger. I am using the Avatar tools to align with my goal to assist in awakening beings and doing it with everyone in my life.
I have confidence in my intuition. I am staying connected, with my attention out, and looking for ways to help others accomplish what they choose to accomplish — not pushing them to do it my way, follow the rules or get it right. I am grateful for the tools, the support of the Avatar Team, and to be a participating member of this amazing sangha.
The Avatar Journal would like to thank Nadine for sharing her experience.
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