Guest post by Dale Sims
I am often amazed at how powerful the exercises from ReSurfacing® are in changing life's experiences. This time it was the Compassion exercise and the Compassion Project especially. Although this exercise is one of the first tools learned on the Avatar® path, the effects are profound in regards to shifting experiences.
My 36 year-old son, David, recently died in a motorcycle accident, on a borrowed racing bike. He was loved by many people and the loss of his presence was devastating to family and friends. I repeatedly used the Compassion card and did the exercise on the plane ride to Hawaii. Several times people and flight attendants, noticing my strong emotions, asked if they could help somehow and they also wondered aloud what I was reading. I told them my story and how this exercise was already helping me. I gave them all cards to use in their lives also.
As I rejoined family in Hawaii I could feel the suffering and even anger, especially for others that were involved with his accident and death. Some of the family felt the individuals should be made to pay, to suffer for their involvement. That somehow, because we loved David so much, we needed to punish these people, or perhaps at least frighten them by showing up at their door as a group of large, angry, Hawaiian males bent on restitution. Prior to my Avatar training I would have likely agreed.
Using appreciation for the group's feelings, and other tools I learned from you as I became an Avatar Master, I was able to shift their attention back to how much they loved David, how strong willed he was and to understand his responsibility for the accident also. I reminded everyone that the other people involved knew of our sadness, even knew the likely desire for revenge we felt and also their own involvement in his death. They would carry that burden always, without us doing anything "to" them.
Reminding the group how much love we felt for David, how I believed he had now changed but not really stopped "being", I recited a line from ReSurfacing, "Love is an expression of the willingness to create space in which something is allowed to change." I could see and feel the group change viewpoints and the anger turned to tears of love.
His older brother still felt some anger, so I asked him to place attention on the person that he was blaming and I read him the Compassion exercise. As I finished he sighed deeply and was visibly affected.
Later we were able to peacefully, as a family in loss, go to the shop where the accident happened, where the man was and where my son had done the work he loved so much. My youngest son shared how he repeated " just like me" to himself many times that day and how it worked every time.
The beautiful range of intense emotions of all types expressed by everyone that day will stay with me forever. Thank you.
As the services were prepared that week I needed to use the Compassion exercise many times, often towards family members acting in the sometimes less than ideal ways people act when they are suffering, and I felt relief every time. It did create space in me that allowed the other people to become closer and relationships were healed.
I will always feel the pain of my son's death. But, thanks to these tools, I have discovered the suffering part was optional. I was able to experience this all with an inner peace that I know helped others and led me away from many negative possible realities.
Instead I was able to fully experience it all as I raised the compassion level in myself and many others. I cannot express the depth of my gratitude to you for empowering me to create so deliberately the love and honor this event deserved.
Harry, I really wanted you to know how much your work makes life's most challenging issues so doable. Thanks.
With love, your friend for life and beyond,
Dale is a licensed Avatar Master from Florida. He can be reached at 808-938-9682 or by e-mail at
The Avatar Journal would like to thank Dale for sharing his experience.
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