Guest post by Sigurður Bárðarson
In 1984, I went through a chemical dependency treatment after living an alcoholic life for fifteen years. I thought that it would be the end of that, but then I started working compulsively. For three years work got all of my attention.
After being sober for three years, telling myself that I shouldn't or couldn't drink, I got drunk on New Year's Eve. I found that I was sucked right back into some old alcoholic life patterns. That made a difference to me. I realized that I could drink, and that it was my choice. If I chose to drink I would carry on with my alcoholic life, but if I was going to be sober, I would have to do something about it.
I decided to go to 90 A. A. meetings in 90 days and I became active in the A. A., A.C.O.A. and other twelve-step programs. I had been brought up in an alcoholic family and my emotional life was little more than a big knot.
It was like wakening up entrapped on a mountainside and the only way out is to climb to the top. I started the journey with twelve step meetings and Gestalt groups. The going was tough. I took some steps forward and every now and then I ran backward, but over all I was making good progress. I got interested in my emotional wellbeing and started to read and collect a lot of "recovery" books and audiotapes.
In 1992, I traveled to Florida for training as an Alcoholic Counselor. I also translated and published two books from English to Icelandic. One about dysfunctional families and the other about a road to mental healing. In the beginning of 1993 I felt like I was at the top of the mountain. I was enjoying life. I felt that I was finally "home." I found myself at the end of the twelve-step road and started wondering that there must be something more. Curiosity had taken the place of necessity.
A friend told me about a woman whom he thought I ought to meet and I had her name and telephone number on my votive tablet for almost a year. Then other friend told me that he was having Shiatsu massage from a woman, and when he told me her name, I realized that it was the woman on my tablet. So I decided to go to her and have a massage.
It turned out that this woman was also an Avatar Master. We discussed Avatar and I decided to do the course. It was a small course of two Avatar masters and two students. It was a completely new experience for me and I saw my spiritual journey in a new perspective. It was like I had been living, isolated, on a small island. I needed to find the mainland and the only way I knew of was to row a small boat. The A. A. and psychotherapy were the row boat. The ocean was rough and the waves were high but I had the courage to go. There were others that joined me on this trip in their small boats, but there were many more who didn't have the guts to start paddling their boats.
But now I was on The Avatar Course, and it felt like sitting in a comfortable jet plane that could go wherever I wanted to go, without effort. After the course I felt that my life had changed. I didn't know how, but it surely had changed. I knew this because for the first time in my life I felt true happiness sparkling through every cell in my body, without a reason, and I smiled a lot.
I got rid of all my "recovery" books and tapes. I felt like my life had been put in "fast forward" and there was no reverse. Being "an alcoholic" or "an adult child" didn't fit any more. I was "Me." It was as simple as that. No labels.
It is clear that I create my life and that I am not my creations... I am the source of my life.
A few months after The Avatar Course I decided to attend an A. A. meeting. The feeling was good. I felt love and compassion towards the people and I honored their persistence and efficiency. But when one after another stated that he or she was an alcoholic, it was very clear to me that they were identifying with their creations and that this was a misunderstanding based on a lack of awareness.
I asked myself what I would say if I would speak and the answer was that I had been creating alcoholism in my life, but now I was creating a sober life. It is clear that I create my life and that I am not my creations. This is the big difference. I am the source of my life.
With the Avatar tools I have been able to add new dimensions to my beingness. I truly believe that we are taking a new step in human development. It is a step towards compassion and unity; towards an Enlightened Planetary Civilization®.
Sigurður Bárðarson is an Avatar Master from Iceland. He can be contacted at +354 496 0753 or
The Avatar Journal would like to thank Sigurður for sharing his experience.
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