Guest post by Tim Soden

LostChild_art-smlAvatar continues to be an amazing, ongoing exploration of a spiritual path of personal improvement that has relevance to my everyday life. My Avatar Master Course in 2005 was a huge challenge to my self-esteem.

My son Robert had been a drug user for over 15 years, his addiction sabotaging every aspect of his life as he alienated himself from his family and friends. I measured him against assumed models of perfection within our society. I defended myself by despising him for his weakness and soon referred to my son coldly as him or he.

The help I gave him resulted in more transgressions to fuel my frustration and sense of failure. My distress turned to anger; unforgiving words were exchanged.

Soon, I was eliciting sympathy and support from family, friends and and professionals, after all I was successful, a good provider, and undeserving of such a problem. I had done my best. He repaid me by letting me down. I washed my hands of him with the advice: only he can cure himself.

As every attempt at remission was followed by an inevitable let down, I disconnected from this irrationally behaving drug addict. I knew it was his responsibility to take charge of his life, kick his habit and become normal. I grieved for my son who was effectively lost to me - gone!


...I found the courage to feel his identity, to feel as he felt, and experienced his suffering.


Then in my Master Course I found the courage to feel his identity, to feel as he felt, and experienced his suffering. I experienced his sense of loss and shame. And an interesting thing happened, I accepted responsibility for my part in his downfall.

LostChild_artI made the primary "my son will stop taking drugs" and discreating any limitations to this happening.

I returned from the Masters course feeling open to any opportunity. Three weeks later Robert turned up at my home, unannounced, in a sorry and dishevelled state. The usual identities were all in place: he bemoaned the mess his life was in. "I have been kicked out by my girlfriend. I have no where to live.  I have no money. There is no way back and I want to die."

For the first time in my life I responded without words and just let him feel my love, appreciation, and forgiveness. And then in desperation, he said,  "Dad, please can Avatar training help me?"

I answered, "Only if you are ready, son. You must find the money for the course yourself."

Within a week he sold his car, and we went off to Orlando together to an International Avatar Course.

The trainers were fantastic. They supported Robert through his pain and suffering. As his confidence grew, the miracle happened. He became source over his life.  And his addiction.

Robert went on to complete Masters, then Wizards, and got a job. He returned to his family.  What greater gift could any father receive than the return of a lost child?

Tim Soden is an Avatar Master/Wizard from England. He can be contacted at +11 897 12024 or by e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

The Avatar Journal would like to thank Tim for sharing his Avatar experience. Read more Avatar experiences at

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