Guest post by Nicola Karesh
Somewhere along the way, I stopped living in my heart and moved to my head. I felt too vulnerable, sensitive, and exposed to show my heart. My head became a safe and comfortable retreat; it was my own personal in-house suite.
In my head, I could kick back and relax, with lots to entertain myself. Things like: thinking, figuring, analyzing, solving, deducing. Lots of mental activity seemed easier to me than the messy stuff of being, feeling, and fully experiencing everything. "Everything" is the qualifier: There are experiences and feelings that I choose willingly and that I have a preference for, and there are others that I resist and want nothing to do with. Guess which ones keep showing up?
Recently, on an Avatar Course, I identified "consistency" as a quality that I wanted in my life. I want to consistently be present for myself and for others, no matter what. The thing that kept getting in the way was the feeling that being present was too much effort.
At times in my life, I have been happy to be with others, to exist in the circle of life, enjoying the warmth of friendship, and being part of things. By living in my head, I was disconnecting from myself. At other times, I have had a definite preference to be alone, to be an interested spectator. Now I see that I can move in or out of the circle, as I choose, not just when the conditions are favorable, but also when things feel threatening.
I really missed that there was a chasm between my head and my heart. It felt like the "I don't know" abyss that Harry Palmer refers to in his Belief Management Mini-Course.
Lots of mental activity seemed easier to me than the messy stuff of being, feeling, and fully experiencing everything.
What would it really feel like to live in my heart, every day? Every moment? Wow!
I began to get a sense of the wonder and awe of that. I am willing to embrace my life.
Today feels like a good day to play. I feel me. I feel you. I live from my heart.
I am here now with you. In my heart, you are too.
The Avatar Journal would like to thank Nicola for sharing her viewpoint. Read more Avatar experiences at AvatarResults.com
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